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Senator Dora Schmiegal's first news conference since she was elected began at nine. Several dozen newspaper and television reporters showed up. They came because they thought the news conference would be about something trivial, unimportant and thoroughly marketable in the mass media, namely, Dora Schmiegal's prediction about who would win next year's Baseball World Series.
They were surprised. The news conference had nothing to do with Senator Schmiegal's baseball picks. The news conference was about Senator Schmiegal's legislative agenda for the upcoming session of the United States Congress. Senator Schmiegal sat at her desk in her chambers in the Everett Dirkson Senate Office Building, knitting. Her diminutive gray head barely rose to the height of the backrest of her executive chair. Behind her sat several of her Schmiegal-eagle senior citizen office staff, also knitting. “Thank you for coming this morning,” said Senator Schmiegal, barely looking up from her knitting. “I called you here today to tell the people of New York and of the United States that I have learned a little in my first year in the United States Senate. And now that I have learned a little, it is time to put what I have learned to good use.” The whirring of automatic camera winders mixed with the clicking of knitting needles. “I will use my position as Chair of the Finance Committee and the Senate Rules Committee to introduce bills in the United States Senate that, I hope, will become law before the end of the legislative session. “The first item of business is that I will propose the abolition of Daylight Savings Time.” The reporters laughed. The Schmiegal-eagles did not. Their clicking knitting needles continued unabated. |
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